I realized, watching it on cable, that I don't much like American Beauty anymore. Self-absorbed middle-aged men and their tendencies to fabricate a midlife crisis for an excuse to act like an adolescent dick is just no longer an appealing storyline.

Too bad I still enjoy the ending. Too bad it's otherwise a lovely movie.

God, I miss my grandfather. He used to tell me stories. He used to take me fishing, and to McDonalds for hot chocolate and cheese danish. Then he had a stroke and I grew up. Why is nothing simple anymore? Why is nothing easy? Why am I so alone?

I would give anything to be seven years old again and watching steam rise from a styrofoam cup, listening to his voice. How little I knew then. How safe I felt, I was. So warm and wrapped in nuclear bliss. Fuck. I'm crying.

I love movies and all, but television can just be so much cooler. Movies have that two hour time limit thing, so just when I've fallen for a character, the credits roll, and that's that.

I've got a new one. Gilmore Girls. I don't know why I didn't watch it. One episode was all it took to hook me. I love that Rory's adorable, responsible, actually looks like a sixteen year old, reads all the time, likes school, and really gets along with her mother. And oh, yeah, is still portrayed as cool.

My mother likes it too. Problem: it's going to be on Tuesdays in the fall. At eight. The same time as Buffy. Which I tape AND watch. Though I suppose I could just tape and watch later? Except I'm a compulsive show taper and I suspect I may want to start taping Gilmore Girls soon. God. Addiction. It's bad.

But there is nothing remotely interesting in the new fall lineup... except, possibly, Alias.

But why the fuck is there going to be a Survivor 3? Good god. That's just not needed. Television is supposed to be storytelling. On the Island of Me, anyway. Which would, I suppose, be why I never watch the news.

But Gilmore Girls. God, is it good. Witty. Charming. Sweet. It just makes me happy. It makes me proud of my absurdly good relationship with my mother. It even makes me want to like Connecticut. No small feat.