I just renewed my paid account, and feel obscurely guilty. Or not so obscurely, really. I typically go for the every-two-months renewal, so it was only five dollars. But. Still. Five dollars! I need EVERY dollar! I'm so POOR!

But I like fast servers and multiple icons and other pretty toys, so. I've had a paid account for over two years now; I don't think I could go back.

Today was lovely, for I am working at my old summer job just for this week, at the Y-ARTS camp I worked at last summer. I knew I missed it - my summer of children changed my perspective on EVERYTHING, and the camp itself is all wooded and beautiful - but I spent half of today walking my kids around with a lump in my throat. I don't do well with confronting things left in the past. It's all right when they stay in the past and I can mostly avoid thinking about them. But this kind of direct contact with nostalgia is inevitably unsettling. But the nice kind of angst, maybe, like the good kind of hurt.

I will be in New Hampshire in FIVE DAYS and it's all becoming increasingly surreal. Like, I have not had enough time to process this. For so long it was a hypothetical and now it is a reality, and I keep doing all these things towards that reality but it still doesn't quite sink in. I guess it won't, not until I'm there, and maybe not even then. In November, maybe? I think by then it'll probably all seem real.