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like some balloon i'll probably miss, lost in a treetop
I don't know why nights are so much harder, except that it's always been this way.
Rain again, again. Tuesday I spent hours in the garden and have the color to show for it, but color is a fleeting thing these days. I have historically had trouble with June in the odd-numbered years; maybe July is something to look forward to.
But we bought flowers despite the rain, gerbera daisies to edge the front of the house, coralbells for the shade garden, a strange pink shrub. In the side garden the rose bushes are overgrown and the creeping myrtle has taken over, but everything is blooming and the disorder only adds to the charm.
I keep busy but I must say it is hard not to feel useless and faded. Everyone else's life spins forward while mine has ground to a halt.
Lately I've been missing my old home. It's been awhile since I've missed it so acutely. I miss the space of it, the quiet of it, the sounds of it. I can't even imagine this summer, how empty it will seem without those woods - last year I had the camp woods, and if they weren't the same they were still close enough. Summer is such a rich memory but it is thick with senses, the cicada whine on the hottest days, warm nights noisy with tree frogs and crickets and the clear night sky full of stars.
I really hate this.
Rain again, again. Tuesday I spent hours in the garden and have the color to show for it, but color is a fleeting thing these days. I have historically had trouble with June in the odd-numbered years; maybe July is something to look forward to.
But we bought flowers despite the rain, gerbera daisies to edge the front of the house, coralbells for the shade garden, a strange pink shrub. In the side garden the rose bushes are overgrown and the creeping myrtle has taken over, but everything is blooming and the disorder only adds to the charm.
I keep busy but I must say it is hard not to feel useless and faded. Everyone else's life spins forward while mine has ground to a halt.
Lately I've been missing my old home. It's been awhile since I've missed it so acutely. I miss the space of it, the quiet of it, the sounds of it. I can't even imagine this summer, how empty it will seem without those woods - last year I had the camp woods, and if they weren't the same they were still close enough. Summer is such a rich memory but it is thick with senses, the cicada whine on the hottest days, warm nights noisy with tree frogs and crickets and the clear night sky full of stars.
I really hate this.
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sorry i forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY! i did send you a sillly postcard, so i somehow just assumed you would get it on the day, which of course wouldn't happen since i didn't send ti till like monday.
anyway, i do hope you're doing all right! enjoy the rain and flowers, please. ironically, it's been all sun and heat here. poopy.
no subject