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she has such an awful lot of soldiers, quite a lovely army all her own
I have a cold. Colds are icky poo. So is waiting for my LSAT score. Officially it will be available Monday, but I keep checking anyway out of probably misguided hope. Not that I would know what to do if it were suddenly there. It's something of a toss-up, whether I want my score more than I don't want to know.
I had a dream last night that I got a 146. Either it was a horrible horrible nightmare or a horrible horrible HORRIBLE prophetic vision. And yet not completely out of the realm of possibility. I keep thinking about my awful performance on analytical reasoning. Which could either be offset by a few correct guesses and a good performance on the other three sections - or simply the final nail in the coffin.
No wonder I'm sick. I don't think I've ever been this on edge in my life.
Plus, I want to register for the LSDAS, but how many schools I apply to may be dependent on my score outcome. I'm pretty much thinking 12-15 at this point, which may seem like overkill to some, but I don't really think so. Expensive, yes, but I think reasonable, when you consider that with applications rising at an alarming rate every year for the same and sometimes fewer number of spots, you can't guarantee admission to schools that are at or even below your gpa/lsat stats. So I'm minimizing my risks and trusting that of fifteen schools, at least ONE has to take me. And hopefully maximizing my rewards, in that if I'm accepted by more than one school, I'll be able to a) keep at least a few variable options open and b) have several financial aid packages to choose from. When I consider it that way, the cost of applying is simply an investment.
I hope my parents also see it that way. After all, they're paying for this part of it.
Sadly, the only thing that's taken my mind of all this, recently, is Dawson's Creek, which sucked me in again with the melodramatic but happy ending-ed series finale, and then TBS, which shows two reruns every morning. The past two weeks they've been on season 3, which every self-respecting fan of Pacey and Joey knows was where it was at. Ahh, the memories I have of that, our first year, all the DC guilty addicts gathered in the living room, laughing at the bad dialogue and rooting for the underdog. The way we SCREAMED at the end of Cinderella Story, the first time Pacey kisses Joey. And screamed again the first time she kisses him.
I firmly believe that the show's main stumbling block was having a male lead - a titular lead, at that - who was so irrefutably annoying, and worse, casting an actor with zero range to play him. The rest of them could usually pull off the overwrought, overly self-aware, verbose monstrosities the writers called dialogue, but James Van Der Beek ALWAYS sounds like he's reciting a script. Worse, he sounds like he doesn't actually know what the words he's saying mean.
Add to that an irresistable male supporting lead and the whole show's balance just gets off. Sure Pacey had flaws, but he was such a lovably flawed character. And Josh Jackson always fit the role perfectly, like there wasn't a divide between actor and character, and I've always suspected there probably wasn't. But at least he's well cast. Add the fact that Pacey is arguably the most compelling character (though that award could have gone to Jen, had the writers not so continually neglected her potential once her role as the "instigator" was over - at least they acknowledge that in the finale) and I have to a agree with what L said years ago, about Pacey rowing up in his own boat and knocking Dawson overboard. New title: Pacey's Creek.
But back to Pacey/Joey. I have serious doubts that the writers ever intended to go there. I'm almost certain they never intended for it to go as far as it did. I think the storyline was one of those happy accidents, occurring almost of its own volition and in spite of itself. The development of the relationship in season three, and the first half of season four, was just so honest, and natural, and bittersweet, and real, it was of a quality that just didn't match the general unevenness that marked the rest of the show. (And Josh and Katie have CHEMISTRY, which you just can't manufacture.)
And that's probably the real reason I couldn't watch the last two seasons. It wasn't that they broke up - though I was annoyed at the very obvious orchestration of the breakup - or even that they felt the need to perpetuate the eternal triangle, which imho should've ended with the third season - but the way the entire relationship was dismissed. I'm all for character growth and needing time apart and I think that having Pacey and Joey grow up and find each other again like they did in the finale (and hinted at in season six) is exactly how it should have happened. But to basically deny that relationship for so long, when it's the only thing that was ever truly magical about the show, was just such a hugely serious misstep. Watching those seasons was like watching the movie version of Possession. I was just too aware of what was missing.
But, again, back to Pacey/Joey. Because yesterday, they showed The Anti-Prom. And there has never been a moment in television that has ever stopped my heart the way their dance did the first time I saw it. (Or the second, or the third, or the fifteenth.) It's just so achingly, beautifully perfect. The way the camera shows only them, all other sounds faded away, the background song, the way they look at each other - and, god, god - "I remember everything."
Sniffle. I get so SENTIMENTAL when I'm sick. And stressed.
The lengths I'll go to distract myself right now.
I had a dream last night that I got a 146. Either it was a horrible horrible nightmare or a horrible horrible HORRIBLE prophetic vision. And yet not completely out of the realm of possibility. I keep thinking about my awful performance on analytical reasoning. Which could either be offset by a few correct guesses and a good performance on the other three sections - or simply the final nail in the coffin.
No wonder I'm sick. I don't think I've ever been this on edge in my life.
Plus, I want to register for the LSDAS, but how many schools I apply to may be dependent on my score outcome. I'm pretty much thinking 12-15 at this point, which may seem like overkill to some, but I don't really think so. Expensive, yes, but I think reasonable, when you consider that with applications rising at an alarming rate every year for the same and sometimes fewer number of spots, you can't guarantee admission to schools that are at or even below your gpa/lsat stats. So I'm minimizing my risks and trusting that of fifteen schools, at least ONE has to take me. And hopefully maximizing my rewards, in that if I'm accepted by more than one school, I'll be able to a) keep at least a few variable options open and b) have several financial aid packages to choose from. When I consider it that way, the cost of applying is simply an investment.
I hope my parents also see it that way. After all, they're paying for this part of it.
Sadly, the only thing that's taken my mind of all this, recently, is Dawson's Creek, which sucked me in again with the melodramatic but happy ending-ed series finale, and then TBS, which shows two reruns every morning. The past two weeks they've been on season 3, which every self-respecting fan of Pacey and Joey knows was where it was at. Ahh, the memories I have of that, our first year, all the DC guilty addicts gathered in the living room, laughing at the bad dialogue and rooting for the underdog. The way we SCREAMED at the end of Cinderella Story, the first time Pacey kisses Joey. And screamed again the first time she kisses him.
I firmly believe that the show's main stumbling block was having a male lead - a titular lead, at that - who was so irrefutably annoying, and worse, casting an actor with zero range to play him. The rest of them could usually pull off the overwrought, overly self-aware, verbose monstrosities the writers called dialogue, but James Van Der Beek ALWAYS sounds like he's reciting a script. Worse, he sounds like he doesn't actually know what the words he's saying mean.
Add to that an irresistable male supporting lead and the whole show's balance just gets off. Sure Pacey had flaws, but he was such a lovably flawed character. And Josh Jackson always fit the role perfectly, like there wasn't a divide between actor and character, and I've always suspected there probably wasn't. But at least he's well cast. Add the fact that Pacey is arguably the most compelling character (though that award could have gone to Jen, had the writers not so continually neglected her potential once her role as the "instigator" was over - at least they acknowledge that in the finale) and I have to a agree with what L said years ago, about Pacey rowing up in his own boat and knocking Dawson overboard. New title: Pacey's Creek.
But back to Pacey/Joey. I have serious doubts that the writers ever intended to go there. I'm almost certain they never intended for it to go as far as it did. I think the storyline was one of those happy accidents, occurring almost of its own volition and in spite of itself. The development of the relationship in season three, and the first half of season four, was just so honest, and natural, and bittersweet, and real, it was of a quality that just didn't match the general unevenness that marked the rest of the show. (And Josh and Katie have CHEMISTRY, which you just can't manufacture.)
And that's probably the real reason I couldn't watch the last two seasons. It wasn't that they broke up - though I was annoyed at the very obvious orchestration of the breakup - or even that they felt the need to perpetuate the eternal triangle, which imho should've ended with the third season - but the way the entire relationship was dismissed. I'm all for character growth and needing time apart and I think that having Pacey and Joey grow up and find each other again like they did in the finale (and hinted at in season six) is exactly how it should have happened. But to basically deny that relationship for so long, when it's the only thing that was ever truly magical about the show, was just such a hugely serious misstep. Watching those seasons was like watching the movie version of Possession. I was just too aware of what was missing.
But, again, back to Pacey/Joey. Because yesterday, they showed The Anti-Prom. And there has never been a moment in television that has ever stopped my heart the way their dance did the first time I saw it. (Or the second, or the third, or the fifteenth.) It's just so achingly, beautifully perfect. The way the camera shows only them, all other sounds faded away, the background song, the way they look at each other - and, god, god - "I remember everything."
Sniffle. I get so SENTIMENTAL when I'm sick. And stressed.
The lengths I'll go to distract myself right now.