behavior i just can't grow into

I needed to write down Sunday, a quiet day of quiet rain and laundry, of staring into space, of music and wandering thought. It has been so long, I couldn't remember, I'd forgotten what it was like. A whole summer with nothing to do, and I'd forgotten.

I am still settling into this life I have here. It's a good life, it fits, but I still wake up some morning expecting a different world. It is hard to move on, I am no good at letting things go. Summer felt like suspended animation, not entirely real. It was easy to pretend. It was easy to forget.

A hurricane swims closer and the sky is blue, these last days of summer hang on with all they've got. I want to walk through the trees till I'm lost, and I want someone to show me the way home. I want to know where home is. I want to know what home means.