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Dear crystal meth producers:
So it would be really fantastic if you could just stop with the making of the crystal meth. See, the new regulations on pseudoephedrine-containing OTCs has led drug companies to start replacing pseudoephedrine with phenylephrine, which is so totally less effective than pseudoephedrine it's laughable. Particularly annoying is the fact that I cannot find anything that has both pseudoephedrine and acetaminophine in it anymore, so I wind up paying twice as much because I have to buy the acetaminophine separately.
And while I'm actually very against governmental micromanaging anti-drug-abuse regulations like these, I appear to be in the minority on that. Since you're the reason they exist, I guess I can only blame you. So, you know, stop. Your drug use is interfering with my considerably less self-destructive drug use. And while I generally support every individual's right to be as self-destructive as they please, I have to draw the line when it starts to affect, you know, ME.
Most sincerely,
An Annoyed Allergy/Sinus Headache Sufferer and Writer of (never sent) Strongly Worded Letters
So it would be really fantastic if you could just stop with the making of the crystal meth. See, the new regulations on pseudoephedrine-containing OTCs has led drug companies to start replacing pseudoephedrine with phenylephrine, which is so totally less effective than pseudoephedrine it's laughable. Particularly annoying is the fact that I cannot find anything that has both pseudoephedrine and acetaminophine in it anymore, so I wind up paying twice as much because I have to buy the acetaminophine separately.
And while I'm actually very against governmental micromanaging anti-drug-abuse regulations like these, I appear to be in the minority on that. Since you're the reason they exist, I guess I can only blame you. So, you know, stop. Your drug use is interfering with my considerably less self-destructive drug use. And while I generally support every individual's right to be as self-destructive as they please, I have to draw the line when it starts to affect, you know, ME.
Most sincerely,
An Annoyed Allergy/Sinus Headache Sufferer and Writer of (never sent) Strongly Worded Letters
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It's funny -- when I was young -- like highschool and college years, May was always a miserable month for me becuase of my allergies. Over the years, it got better. Now, it's just a little annoyance, not something I need to medicate.
It's the same old story though -- when I was a kid, you could buy OTC cough medicine with real codeine in it.
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Then there was that one time last year when I made the mistake of taking pseudoephedrine for stuffiness, then met a friend for coffee. This friend was also a beautiful and hilarious woman that I had a big stinkin' crush on. By the time we parted and I was driving home, I was trying not to jump out of my skin and spontaneously combust all over the inside of my car.
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http://thankyoustephencolbert.org/
It's French, beeyotch. Well no, it's not. But it's still awesome.
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