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she just stood there on the front porch, waiting for her will to come and get her
I slept remarkably well last night - eight hours, and I didn't wake up a dozen times with that panicked feeling in my chest, the way I have lately. Not that I attribute this to the drugs - far too early for that, although, I suppose there could be a psychosomatic argument for it.
Still, eight straight hours of sleep was lovely, except when I woke up. I thought it was the weekend, or that I was still on vacation. No, I realized, it's only Wednesday.
Sigh.
Do I really need to work? Well, yes, I do. Do I really need to work as long as I'd planned? A smart me would. But I'm not smart when it comes to such things, sometimes. We'll see. I need to work at least three and a half weeks more to earn as much as I need, anyway. Not that I've gotten a paycheck, or gas reimbursement. Not that I know when I will. Not that my bank account hasn't seriously diminished since I started work, what with all of this driving.
But I'm not tired. I dreamed of the desert again, too. There were different elements mixed in this time, though. Less pleasant. Things I'd rather not think about. And yet, even having to deal with them, the desert gave me comfort.
Maybe that was the point.
Time to finish getting ready. Rah fucking rah. Can't wait to go knock myself out with chloroform and sort through dead bugs.
Still, eight straight hours of sleep was lovely, except when I woke up. I thought it was the weekend, or that I was still on vacation. No, I realized, it's only Wednesday.
Sigh.
Do I really need to work? Well, yes, I do. Do I really need to work as long as I'd planned? A smart me would. But I'm not smart when it comes to such things, sometimes. We'll see. I need to work at least three and a half weeks more to earn as much as I need, anyway. Not that I've gotten a paycheck, or gas reimbursement. Not that I know when I will. Not that my bank account hasn't seriously diminished since I started work, what with all of this driving.
But I'm not tired. I dreamed of the desert again, too. There were different elements mixed in this time, though. Less pleasant. Things I'd rather not think about. And yet, even having to deal with them, the desert gave me comfort.
Maybe that was the point.
Time to finish getting ready. Rah fucking rah. Can't wait to go knock myself out with chloroform and sort through dead bugs.