everytime it rains, you're here in my head

[ivyology]

It's too hot. I can't breathe. I can't think.

I wanted to scream at work. I wanted to kill the boys. Anything to make them go away. I just wanted to be alone.

And still I swing from furious and jittery to drawn and empty to calm and accepting and I wish I could just settle on one. I read half of The Martian Chronicles, and that was the happier part of the day. Amazing book. How have I not read it until now?

I have things to do that I'm just not doing. I need to finish unpacking. I should write Linsey the letter I promised. I owe Joy three emails, which is so ironic I can't even think about it for too long or my head will implode. I should move (but it's too hot) I should eat (but it's too hot) I should do something (but it's too hot).

I read the first half of Siddhartha, as well, but I think my brain is too muddled to deal well with philosophy right now.

Whatever this mood is, I need to shake it off.