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So, I am still here.
I truly have some fucked up karma.
Today of all days, it had to be eighty degrees, I had to be weak and shaky already from this damn cold, and I had to be stupid enough to carry my bags all the way to the garage. Only to find, when there, that the garage door was malfunctioning, meaning I couldn't get to my car, meaning I couldn't go home, meaning I had to carry all my crap back to the house and call my mother and cry.
I finally got in touch with the woman I rent from, and the door's been fixed. I'm leaving in the morning, bright and early.
I have that shaky, fragile vulnerability that always lingers after my rare encounters with tears (real tears, not those of the tv-induced variety). "Real" crying being a quarterly occurrence, at best, with me, I can at least find comfort in the fact that I won't have to feel this way again until January. December at the earliest.
How do people find tears cathartic?
I wonder at my walls. I have enough defenses to fight off a nuclear attack and it all seems so unprovoked. There must be a source to it, somewhere, but I can't for the life of me figure out what it is.
I truly have some fucked up karma.
Today of all days, it had to be eighty degrees, I had to be weak and shaky already from this damn cold, and I had to be stupid enough to carry my bags all the way to the garage. Only to find, when there, that the garage door was malfunctioning, meaning I couldn't get to my car, meaning I couldn't go home, meaning I had to carry all my crap back to the house and call my mother and cry.
I finally got in touch with the woman I rent from, and the door's been fixed. I'm leaving in the morning, bright and early.
I have that shaky, fragile vulnerability that always lingers after my rare encounters with tears (real tears, not those of the tv-induced variety). "Real" crying being a quarterly occurrence, at best, with me, I can at least find comfort in the fact that I won't have to feel this way again until January. December at the earliest.
How do people find tears cathartic?
I wonder at my walls. I have enough defenses to fight off a nuclear attack and it all seems so unprovoked. There must be a source to it, somewhere, but I can't for the life of me figure out what it is.