she says shh, i know, it's only in my head. . .

[ivyology]

I need to write again. I can't express the depth of fear shackled to this urge; it's the reason I haven't written a word of fiction or poetry in nearly a year. One day I sat down and watched every word come out wrong, flat, and trite. I tried to work through it with reason, tried telling myself that most of all writing is shit but the shit's necessary to find the gold, but self-doubt is stronger than reason. So I no longer write, I no longer try, because the mere thought is inevitably accompanied with a paralyzing dread.

So I have a new goal. If I accomplish nothing else in my meager existence, I will write one thing that I'm proud of. I'll dive into the shit headfirst and swim merrily around and grab the gold with my teeth.

(And then when I grow and write romance novels for a living, I'll retain the slightest modicum of self-respect.)

Comments

[meow.livejournal.com]

*applauds*

i understand this so completely..

[souvenant.livejournal.com]

I need to write again. I can't express the depth of fear shackled to this urge; it's the reason I haven't written a word of fiction or poetry in nearly a year. One day I sat down and watched every word come out wrong, flat, and trite. I tried to work through it with reason, tried telling myself that most of all writing is shit but the shit's necessary to find the gold, but self-doubt is stronger than reason. So I no longer write, I no longer try, because the mere thought is inevitably accompanied with a paralyzing dread.


[these words echo what i feel inside, so deeply & painfully. i wish to hell that you did not have to know it also].

xo.